it is extremely hard when being a Christ follower yet still finding you self completely devoured by negativity and thoughts that lead to a deep depression that consume you even when you know God is the way the truth and the light.. some how you find your self still stuck in a darkened place....
Depression to me is the total opposite feeling as being in the presence of the Holy spirit. when you can feel the Holy spirits presence wow what an amazing over whelming feeling of joy and complete peace that is.. yet all the while depression is dark and deep sadness. How can one feel both of these feelings and still be a Christ follower.
Going from one feeling to the next is absolutely horrible...
are minds are at war with are bodies constantly, ever choice that we make we must make through the Lord, I found my self in a daily panic when i would frantically try to fill the gap that i had of loneliness, i felt from being away from home and not knowing anyone or anything around me..
i quietly put in the back of my mind that the Lord was there with me even if it might not feel emotionally that way all of the time.. Its not just a feeling to have Jesus walking with you its having the faith that even though you might not "feel" His presence He is truly there taking every single step with us.. guiding us on the narrow road in the right direction if we choose to let Him and if we choose to take one step at a time. God is not i was, while we want to walk back in the past,, we will become frantic and alone because God is not in the past,, when we want to walk ahead in the future worrying about what is to come,, we will feel alone because God is not I will be,, when we live for this moment now focused on the daily trials we face in this moment alone our Lord and savior is there because He is the God I AM!!! Me must always remember Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me" He is the leading and knows the way.. when walking with Him it is very easy to become depressed and frantic in this life we live because we are constantly in a rush. But when that rush deadens at night and we have time rest we cant because are thoughts of what is next over whelm us. We have to live in this moment and this moment alone take one step at a time over coming each obstacle as it comes knowing that God knows the way out of any hard situation we might face in the future,, yet right now in the present and the past is the past but if we live for right now we dont have to worry about those situations that are to come.. =) Trust